Is the Grass Truly Greener on the Other Side?

Come next month, it will be a year since we have moved to Auckland. We are very excited as we will be GOING HOME as a family to celebrate Chinese New Year with our families and friends? My wife and I have already listed out our shopping list and food-to-eat list.

Going HOME... hmm... I am still saying that Malaysia is Home. Yes, home is where families are, not just the physical presence of a building or structure. As a husband and father now, my home is wherever Kellie and Ethan is. Whenever I come back from work, I feel safe, secure, joyful and the biological clock suddenly switch to a relax mode. Seeing Ethan laughing and jumping around is a sight that I will not want to miss, being able to give Kellie a home-coming kiss and hug is a privilege I will not want to be taken away from but... but, why am I saying that Malaysia is still HOME.

The obvious answer is, families... our very own families are still in Malaysia, and that's what makes it home. I am the lucky guy where mom can afford to fly over nearly every quarter to visit us but it's still not the same. We don't get to see them every weekend anymore, we don't get to sit around dinner tables and enjoyed the best home cooked meals. Kellie doesn't get to lepak with the sisters anymore, talking to her mom and generally just chill out at home. Though we stay in our own house in Malaysia, we look forward to weekends where we get to be just son and daughter to our parents, being pampered and snuggle up to mom when we are feeling a bit worn out by the demands of the world and let down our guards of being the parents that we are now... Over here, we don't get those times...

I've spoken to 2 other close friends that have contemplated migrating but are reluctant to do so as yet because of families... I guess leaving home is never an easy thing for us in our culture... No matter how imperfect Malaysia is, it's still Home.

I've been following Malaysia's happening through some internet media. It's really sad because of the many issues that have cropped up... the uprising of the UMNO agenda against other races, TDM vs Pak Lah, petrol hike (Petronas has record earning a few months after the petrol prices were raised to 1.92/liter... maybe no relation but hmm...), and now the toll hike... Other highlighted cries are the education system and the general cost of living that seems to have a mission to climb Mt. Everest... I'm heartbroken because the country that I'm raised in is in such state... maybe it has always been like this, we never really know until the emergence of internet and 'alternative-news' site. I've always been quite patriotic... praying for Malaysia and her leaders all this while... cheering the Malaysia football team though they were against Brazil or England... brim with proudness when we won the Thomas cup (err... a decade ago) or Nicol David win the world championship.

However, the recent 'awareness' of the country situation has unsettled me quite a bit. Kellie and I moved here in assurance that God want us to take this journey to complete a chapter in our lives. We always feel that we will be moving back to home one day... awaiting for God to point us back again. Unsettle as we may be, but we need to know exactly where God wants us to be. If we are in a 'perfect' place but God is not with us, how will we ever prosper (and I don't mean financially though that's wonderful) in life, how will we ever live out His purpose? Just like Moses negotiation with God, "Exo 33:15 And he said to him, "If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here."

There's a chinese proverbs that says 'every household has a difficult book', I guess no nation is ever perfect. Living here in New Zealand, I realized many things that I never see as a tourist. The political scene is also in an 'ouch' state, the many services that we enjoyed in Malaysia is actually a luxury here (can't believe I'm saying that). PM here openly declares that this is a secular country in contrary to the many believe that NZ is a Christian country and that she also has an 'alternative' lifestyle (you decipher that yourself). Australians have just voted that their PM to be the most embarrassing person of 2006. Also read a long writeup on the fault and incompetence of the British PM when he declared he will step down. Let's not even get to US president (I have tremendous respect for him in that position making those tough decision, how many of us can actually do that). Closer to home, the Singaporeans are complaining about the Lee Dynasty. What am I saying here? If you are living in that country, your eyes are bound to open to its imperfectness and incompetency of its leaders. Is the Grass Truly Greener on the Other Side? Don't take a peep, step over and see... it could be the same color. If Moses is not willing to move out of the Desert to the promised land without God, why would I want to be anywhere if it's not God's direction.